* Inconceivable Chess:
Inconceivable chess is the result of Rita's imagination, b.a.c., and desire to see people in silly hats. The rules for this game are flexible but should really be written on a flashcard used to study for a written prelim exam stating Roger's notion of the importance of counselor attitude. As you'll notice in the accompanying photos, it is important to use a durable if not unbreakable chess set in inconceivable chess. This set happens to be missing both the board and one white knight; perfect! Enter my canvass board, and the first official inconceivable chess rule:
- All players must have at least two, but no more than three, "special character" chesspersons, and all players must have the same number of special character pieces. Special character pieces, however, are not fairy chess pieces and have no special moves.
The other rules of engagement:
- Play should be accompanied by classic surf rock or champagne music (note: it is ill-advised to try and watch the LWS when playing Inconceivable Chess as the LWS will a) hypnotize you b) remind you of your grandmother and c) reinforce the fact that LW was the most adorable old man ever which leads to point a) in a vicious wunnerful cycle of accordions, batons, and dancers)
- Any player who loses a piece must take one drink, unless they lost the piece to a special character which results in two drinks. Any play who loses a special character piece must take three drinks.
- Any player who is in check must wear the Tiger hat (or any other appropriately humiliating and awesome head garment).
- Any time players are mismatched in skill/knowledge (quickly established by asking each to explain basics like en passant, castling, and promoting pawns) the more advanced player must be drinking a higher-proof to level the playing field.
The game proceeded like this:
Ultimately, luck on Em's part (and 12 ounces of very tasty unadulterated reposado) led to this:
Checkmate... |
We're gonna twist and twist and twist until we tear the house down....
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